That’s right. A big, sweet, undeniably cute mess of emotions. Life is simply too big for her to bear at this time, and for the past few months. At first, I wanted to place blame elsewhere. She was in daycare and staying with my parents at times and her granddad at times while daddy and I were working. The day I went on maternity leave (2.5 weeks before little budders even made his appearance), she lost it. And she’s been losing it ever since. I have vowed today to help her find it.
It’s easy to place blame. Grandparents go easy on the kids and don’t follow the same rules we have set. But that wasn’t the problem, I set too strict of rules. Daycare provided structure, although not one-on-one time, and I wasn’t making up for it at home. She was going through a ton of changes, and I expected it to not make a difference. And now, we are facing the repercussions, and my daughter is lashing out with a fierceness that can no longer be ignored.
Imagine literally every request you make being met with, “no!” Every. Single. One. This morning, after 1.5 hours of extremely tense interactions this morning while I gritted my teeth and gently led my daughter through our routine, I lost ALL patience. I let her sleep in, we had a leisurely breakfast, she sat around in her panties (all she will wear to bed mind you), and when it came time for her to get dressed she refused. I tried so hard. I even thought warning her may help. “Mommy is getting so close to yelling, can you please just get dressed?” “Nooooooooo! You’re a poo poo!” So I put mister man on the bed and shoved her legs into her pants, put her socks on, brushed her hair and followed her to the bathroom where I brushed her teeth, filled her rinse cup, made her potty, wipe, flush, close the lid, wash her hands, put her shoes on, put her coat on, and by then she put her own back pack on. Micromanaging. She cried, but no more than usual. #choirofscreaming
My sweet girl, I have tried everything. I start the day with so much patience in store, and by noon it’s depleted. I’m easily distracted. I have so much to do in the next 4 months. And you have a 2 month old baby brother. I never meant to slide you down the priority list, it just happened, and you are acting out more and more. I have gotten more and more frustrated in return. We need to make a change.
So today, let’s start anew. You let your frustrations out and instead of reacting, I will simply observe and be present. When your brother starts joining in what I fondly refer to as “the choir of screaming”, I will simply breathe and concentrate on the fact that you’re only little for so long. Of course that is the type of thing that has always sounded beyond cheesy to me, the more one believes in something, the truer it becomes, right? For the love of all that is good in this world, right???
If you have, or have had, a threenager, you know exactly what I mean. And God speed.